So, you happen to be married now? That’s great! But if some considerable time has passed since your nuptials, and you’re feeling more like your partner’s room mate than you feel like their true love, maybe you should consider taking some steps to help bring that spark back into your romantic life together.
Ask yourself something: When the last time you took your other half out on a real date? Being married for a long period of time can take a toll on a person, it’s even true for both parties in a relationship to feel their passions for each other start to wane. After a long period of time especially, it could feel like being married is more of a chore than it is a choice. Life, work, responsibilities are all things reportedly making it harder for couples to find the energy, time, or romance that they had when they were newlyweds. (Though according to a new study, if you make it to 50 years of marriage together, you’ll both enjoy more intimately randy senior moments together!)
At least once in our lives we are all a little lazy or too focused on ourselves to truly excel in the romantic department. Not only do you have to contend with less time on your hands, less energy, and possibly less privacy if you have kids or parents living with you, but on top of all of that is the fact that marriage also has the notorious side effect of making people super comfortable around each other. Being comfortable with your partner is a wonderful feeling, but marriage doesn’t have to mean the end of romance between you both.
Here are 4 simple and timeless ways that you can woo your your partner with starting today:
ASK THEM OUT ON A PROPER DATE
Call up your wife, do not text or email her, and ask her out on a date like you would before you got married. Plan something special. Remember that a date doesn’t have to be expensive or over the top, but it should be something somewhat different than the same old restraurant you frequent together or staying in to watch movies… again. It’s the thought that you put into planning your time together that counts, and simply by breaking up your standard day-to-day life that will stand out in your memories. Whether you decide to head out for a picnic during a nice day, or you plan for a romantic evening filled with dinner and dancing, your partner will be appreciative (and just might go a little crazy for you all over again too).
DO SOMETHING NICE WITHOUT BEING ASKED
You might wonder what the big deal about doing the dishes might be. “Hey, it’s just dishes! Just wait until the end of the week and then do them all at once!” Why did you get the look for coming up with such an awesome time saving suggestion like that? Well, if you thought that sounded like a good idea for a second, then you may need some serious help rethinking all the golden ideas you have locked away in your romantic repoitore. Doing something that needs to be done, such as washing the dishes or folding laundry, makes you just about as sexy as you can get. If you do something, anything, without being asked or without tooting your own horn about it, you’ll be a hero in your partner’s eyes. It’s one simple and nice way to make his day a little easier, and could give him a little more time to spend alone and unwind. Offer to do something like put the kids to bed so that your wife can take a relaxing bath before bed. With all of that extra energy, you’ll more likely than not be the one reaping the romantic rewards in the end.
SEND FOOD, FLOWERS, OR BOTH
Even if you never sent flowers to her before you were married or even if you think it might not be “her thing”, it’s always a sweet thing to do. You can be creative and arrange to have his favorite food delivered to him at lunch time, just to show you’re thinking of him. Whether your partner works in an office or from home, the gesture will be appreciated. It’s important for both partners to know that you’re thinking of each other, whether you’re apart for a few days or even a few months. While it’s true that a note sent by email would get the same thought across, putting in the extra effort to send something they enjoy will speak volumes.
COMPLIMENT YOUR PARTNER
Sound simple enough? That is because it really is! From something small like complimenting her outfit that day, to thoughtfully weighing in on something you know is important to him, you can both truly strengthen your bond together by verbally expressing those thoughts. They might not otherwise not always be so obvious to your loved one. Show your appreciation for your life together, and let each other know how life wouldn’t be the same without the other person in it.
BONUS: BREAK OUT OF YOUR NORMAL ROUTINE!
When people get married and fall into a routine, it can be all too easy for partners to forget the little things like compliments or the importance of a simple thank you for the things you do for eachother. Aim to make every day a happy, supportive one. It won’t always be exciting, or easy, or romantic, but it will definitely help your relationship strengthen over the years, which will help you both when times aren’t so easy. Be attentive and even when it isn’t easy, be happy and grateful for eachother for everything that you give one another.
Being married shouldn’t be an end to kindness and romance in your relationship, it should be the first root in a series of many as your marriage grows. While you don’t need to be Don Jon every day, try to at least make romance a normal part of your relationship. A little TLC may be just the thing the both of you need.
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