We’ve all got that special someone in our past. The one who just got us. The one we just clicked with. And—inevitably—the one that broke our heart.
These people seem to be inexplicably intertwined with us and will likely pop up at various points in our lives. Mostly the wrong times but every once in awhile the stars will align and you will reconnect and it’ll feel like you’re picking up right where you left off. Like no time has passed at all. And it will be great…for a while.
But soon you’ll become aware that time has passed. And you will come to many new realizations about the nature of your relationship as you both grow older and collect more experiences.
You two will start to facilitate a newfound respect for each other. You will always love each other in a way but that may or may not manifest itself romantically. So how can you deal with the one person who consistently pulls your heartstrings?
This is a key ingredient to any relationship but especially so in this situation. What makes the “one who got away” circumstance so unique is that each time you reconnect you each have evolved a little bit more. You talk to each other a little bit softer. Blind passion and emotion turns into compassionate understanding and mutual respect. When your OTGA reappears in your life, do not be afraid to address or express your new point of view. That’s not to say that you should drudge up all your old issues and disagreements but instead approach the relationship with a newfound understanding of what it is you want or need.
2. Embrace your changes
Do not hide the fact that things have changed between the two of you. Do not hide your changed self from your OTGA. Because guess what? They’ve changed too. And maybe things didn’t work between you in the past because you were apprehensive about acknowledging those changes—not wanting to seem fickle, unreliable, or fake. We’re human. We change. We change a lot. And that’s a good thing. That’s how we grow; that’s how we learn.
3. Be honest
You two have a connection that keeps drawing you back together but that is the same connection that drives you both apart. You need to acknowledge the strengths of your relationship as well as the weaknesses, why you do and don’t work together. Don’t forget the occurrences in the past that have led to where you are now, both happiness and pain. And if you do attempt to reconcile you should directly discuss the elements of your relationship that need to be changed or compromised. You can’t carry a chip on your shoulder—punishing yourself or him/her for the past. You should clear any and all skeletons out of the closet before attempting reconciliation. Because there’s nothing worse than a relationship where one person is constantly throwing past mistakes or events in the other person’s face.
4. Enjoy each other
You both get along for some strange, cosmic reason so enjoy it. Let yourself have fun with this person. You don’t have to get back together and you don’t have to forgive them but let yourself be happy. You deserve that at the very least.
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