Every person has a past. Every person has had a moment in their life that has changed them, either negatively or positively. When these moments are negative they can cause inner turmoil. This constant struggle is called anxiety.
Anxiety is a completely natural human experience. The issue comes when this anxiety interferes with the person or persons’ lives. Anxiety can range from being a terrible test taker or a difficult public speaker to having crippling and life halting fears.
When one falls in love, they see the person’s imperfections as another beautiful piece to puzzle. However, people come with baggage. Loving someone does not mean seeing past the difficult moments, it’s about coping with them. If you are in a relationship it is a partnership. Merging two people into one is challenging and it can be even more challenging when your partner is in a love triangle with anxiety.
The following article will provide you with five helpful tips for loving someone with anxiety. While there are a number of different types of anxiety disorders, this article will focus on a generalization of anxiety disorders.
Respect should be the first rule in every relationship. When in a serious relationship, you are the other person’s better half. You are their rock. You are the reason Taylor Swift songs exist. Due to the role that you play in this person’s life, please understand how important you have become to this person. Often times, when people are in a relationship, certain secrets are divulged that may not have even been shared with those in his or her close circle. This person has confided in you. Never use their confidence in you, against them. You may be their last hope of expressing their feelings.
2. Know their triggers
Triggers are circumstances, phrases, or situations that bring back the reasoning behind the anxiety. To the person on the outside, a trigger may be seen as illogical or ridiculous but to the person experiencing such stress, it is real. Remember that humans are creatures of emotion, not logic.
These triggers can be some of the most mundane occurrences. For some people, being late or forgetting an important date is something to brush off. To the person with forgetfulness as trigger that is detrimental. Your loved one could have had a person is his or her life they constantly walked out on them or was so egotistical, your partner lost his or herself trying to make this person happy.
Although you may not understand their trigger, do not dismiss their emotions. This person feels vulnerable and is willing to share their deepest fears with you.
3. Give constant reassurance
Most people with anxiety have been mistreated, used, and/or not given an equal amount of respect. Telling your loved one how important they are to you can make the world of difference. Sometimes, the hardest battles are the one of the mind. Constantly being told by one’s inner demons that he or she is not good enough or that their fear may come true is challenging. It’s a constant battle that cannot be done alone.
4. Show your love in their language
Telling someone that you love you them more than life itself is beautiful and is a wonderful behavior to continue. However, words can only go but so far. Actions speak louder than any words. Show the person you care for that you love them. Not everyone loves in the same language. For some, love is shown through small gifts just to show they are always on their mind. Others show love by doing an activity together or doing a chore that the other dislikes, but will make the other person happy. Figure out how they need to be shown love and try your best to cope with their needs.
5. Understand that they cannot heal overnight
If one were to ask any person with anxiety if they would like to rid themselves of this disorder, every person would raise their hand. No one wants to constantly feel stress or to feel unwanted. Anxiety is not something that can be switched off when need be. Overcoming anxiety is a process of healing that will take time. It will not happen tomorrow, or the next day but as the most important in his or her life, you have to help as much as possible with the healing process.
For more information about helping someone heal with anxiety, please seek professional help.