It can feel devastating to be rejected from your own child. It feels extremely painful and after numerous attempts to rebuild a relationship with your children, you can begin to feel helpless. Children that usually participate in rejecting a loving parent are victims of parental alienation also known as hostile aggressive parenting.
It is important for parents who are victims of parental alienation to keep a clear framework within their minds that their children are simply victims of the emotional abuse they are suffering at the hands of the alienating parent. At times, parents report that they are angry with their child for the alienating behavior they are receiving from them. If you can step back and clearly look at the situation, you will realize that it is not your child that is hurting you. Their behaviors and outbursts towards you are the results of the alienator’s influence on your child.
Children who are subjected to an ex’s dislike of the other parent are often exposed to (1) badmouthing of the other parent (2) told the parent does not love them anymore and (3) blocked from seeing their child at established visitations. Due to these tactics, alienated children are experiencing trauma. When children experience traumatic situations, they change the way they act and think. So, when you say to yourself, “I do not recognize my child anymore,” please consider that they are being influenced to act in a different way then they truly are.
As a parent of a child who has been subjected to alienation strategies, it is critically important that you move from being a victim of your ex’s tactics and move towards seeing yourself as a survivor. It is this mentality that helps parents and children emerge healthy and happy from these high conflict situations.
Parents that have successfully emerged from Parent Alienation have the following 7 characteristics
1. They recognize that their children are being treated unfairly by their ex-spouse and do not blame them for their behaviors.
2. They believe that having some compassion for the alienating parent is necessary to build a civil relationship with their ex for the sake of their children and themselves.
3. They provide the court with an appropriate parenting plan that shows how the child would be well taken care of in their care
4. They focus on enjoying their children’s company when they are with them and never talk to their children about their court case.
5. They always take the high road and never talk badly about the other parent to their children.
6. Their anger towards their spouse never became more important than their children’s well being.
7. They demonstrate that they are rational, reasonable, and have the best interest of the child at heart.