Every libertarian should be ecstatic over the “Libertarian Indoor Ventless Electric Wall Fireplace.”
This “Libertarian” item is currently available at various venues like Amazon, Walmart and Sears. It comes in assorted colors such as white, dark walnut and espresso (who knew espresso was a color) but don’t count on trotting down to your favorite big box business bastion and hauling it home because it may not be stocked in the store. So you’ll have to order it online and wait for the FedEx folks to show up.
(If you just can’t live without one try this online site.)
Clearly this homey hearth must be named “Libertarian” only because the Indoor Ventless Electric Wall Fireplace was built on the Zero Aggression Principle and therefore never initiates force, intimidation or fraud against anyone or anything.
But wait. An online Walmart ad informs us that “People who viewed this item also viewed” many other Indoor Ventless Electric Fireplaces that aren’t Libertarian. These include the Mathias Ventless Electric Indoor Fireplace (who knew black wash was a color?), the Timothy Ventless Gel Indoor Fireplace (gel fuel not included), and the Flattsfield Entertainment Center Ventless Electric Indoor Fireplace with rich dark walnut finish, adjustable shelving to accommodate electronics and collectibles, remote control, mantel, firebox, programmable thermostat, timer and brightness settings (Assembly required!) and many others.
They’re not Libertarian. Does that mean they might initiate force, intimidation or fraud against other Indoor Ventless Electric Wall Fireplaces, or against the homes they’re placed in, or against people?
So what makes the Libertarian Indoor Ventless Electric Wall Fireplace “libertarian” and other Indoor Ventless Electric Fireplaces not “libertarian”?
Maybe they’re political. Maybe the Libertarian Indoor Ventless Electric Wall Fireplaces are “Third Party” fireplaces and they’re slowly chipping away at the sales of Republican Indoor Ventless Electric Wall Fireplaces, causing the Democratic Indoor Ventless Electric Wall Fireplaces to win the marketplace.
Maybe someone just named this particular fireplace “Libertarian.” After all, there’s a political party named “Libertarian” and some people, even people who name themselves “libertarian,” don’t think it’s very libertarian. And back in 2013 a racehorse named Libertarian ran several races in the United Kingdom. No mention was made indicating whether the animal was particularly high strung or non-coercive or whatever.
So why is this fireplace called Libertarian? There seems to be no answer at Amazon or a Q&A explanation on the Walmart page.
Maybe someone thought it belonged in a conservative home and, like the majority of Americans, just didn’t know the difference between Republican and Libertarian.
(Frisky Christmas elves courtesy DragonsLover1/DeviantArt.com)