In bizarre news, a potential robber attempted to rob an adult toy store last night. He was armed with a hammer. Luckily, or not luckily, a security guard was able to stop him with a machete. However, the security guard was injured when the robber hit him with a bong (I have no clue what happened to the hammer in this whole mess). The security guard was treated by paramedics while the robber was taken into custody and treated for his injuries.
Probably the most pressing question in this story is why the security guard was armed with a machete. Robberies happen all the time. The reason this one is in the news is because of the location of the robbery and the fact that the security guard’s weapon of choice was a machete. An ABC news article reports, “Footage from outside the store showed money and several smoking pipes on the ground.” The suspect chose a strange place to steal from as well as some strange items to steal. But the strangest item from that store still remains the machete that was in the security guard’s hand.
In the photo from the ABC article, there are six items advertised in the store window. The more mundane items are gifts, shoes, and lingerie. The other, more risque items, are adult DVDs, pipes, and toys. At the very least, it appears that the robber was attempting to steal money and bongs (toys?) before being struck down by the machete. However, with what few details can be found in the media, the imagination desires to run wild.
Basically, machetes are large knives that look like smaller versions of swords. They appear very Medieval, and having one in an adult toy store makes one think of BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism). I’m not saying BDSM played a role in this duel between the security guard and the suspected robber. I’m just saying that it looks awful to have a machete in an adult toy story, and it might make people wonder about the nature of the store.
The robber himself chose to steal bongs and money. Bongs don’t have to be used for drugs; but, given the robber’s poor decision making abilities, drugs do seem like something he would smoke in one of those stolen bongs. What this store seems to be promoting is bongs (and whatever substances are put in them) as part of a person’s sexual experience. It’s right up there with lingerie, vibrators, pornography, etc. And somehow, knowing he was stealing bongs (rather than vibrators or porn) actually make the robbery seem more understandable. He wasn’t in there just for sex toys and money. The imagination screams: this guy was probably high.
This story is not good public relations for the store. The message being sent is that the store attracts people looking to steal bongs and cash. And not only that, robbers will be attacked by a guard wielding a machete. It sounds like something from a torture scene in “Game of Thrones,” which has been known to mix sex and violence on more than one occasion. And the question still remains: What was that guard doing with a machete?