So you wake up with your head pounding and your heart full of regret (and possibly reflux from 4 a.m. Taco Bell), shards of sunlight piercing unapologetically through faded eggshell blinds. The dude lying next to you forgot to set an alarm because of course he forgot. Now you only have a few sparse minutes to get yourself looking like a human being again before bracing the day and attempting to drown the events of last night in a triple-shot no-whip, extra foam mocha latte.
Your hair looks like a mass of something two ferrets had a fight in, your mascaraed lashes lay in clumped fringes above raccoon-like circles and you smell like a bar laced with Axe and tequila sweat. What’s a gal to do? It seems like an impossible predicament—especially when your impromptu sleepover was super unexpected (#GreyGoose)—but a few simple hacks can help you turn a walk of shame into a stride of pride.
Use a toothbrush on clumped mascara
No lash comb? No problem. Use a toothbrush to gently brush away clumped mascara and everyone will be none the wiser that you woke up with spider-leg eyes. If you don’t have an extra toothbrush, ask the Casanova beside you if he has one. Is he asleep? Well, go fishing for one, I’m sure you can find something suitable somewhere in his man-cave or ask one of his roommates, dog, or family member.
As an added bonus, a toothbrush can double as a brow brush to primp your arches and can also clean fingernails.
Q-Tips + Vaseline = perfect under-eye makeup remover
Stop acting like you weren’t planning to snoop through his medicine cabinet anyway, and cut to the chase by nabbing a few Q-tips and dabs of Vaseline (unscented, hypoallergenic lotion can work as well if Vaseline is unavailable). Easily rid yourself of raccoon eyes by swiping the Vaseline gently over the moisturized end of the Q-tip and then complete the makeup removal by swiping the dry end over in the opposite direction. Repeat this as necessary.
The fabulous thing about Q-tips is they allow you to be extremely precise.
Baby powder as instant dry shampoo
You’d like to freshen up your ‘do but obviously don’t have the time. Sprinkle a little baby powder onto a brush and comb through from your roots. The powder will absorb moisture, giving the appearance of a freshly washed coif. If no baby powder is available, seek out a little corn starch or—worse case scenario—some flour. Remember that a little goes a long way; using too much powder can give your locks faux dandruff.
Freshen clothes with dryer sheets
Ok, assuming that your late-night rendezvous was one of spontaneity, you likely don’t have a fresh pair of clothes to change into so you’re going to have to make due with whatever you wore the night before. To freshen up your nasty, bar-smelling outfit right quick, rub a few dryer sheets over the ensemble. Be sure to try the dryer sheet on the inside of your clothing first to test and make sure it won’t be the type to leave a residue.
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