And now for some more unusual dating advice that you won’t find anywhere else.
This is a difficult topic. Do you really want to know what health concerns your date has? Is it even ethical to snoop around and try to learn of potential problems? Can playing detective be a way to protect yourself from some serious illness? Would you really want a serious relationship with someone who will be forever troubled with medical conditions? All of these questions are important for you to consider before you make a commitment.
The entire concept of HIPPA, the laws that require doctors to keep your medical history private, is based on… privacy. But why the need for special laws to protect medical privacy. We survived as a society for hundreds of years without HIPPA, so what happened? It’s rather simple. Who wants to hire someone with a heart condition or mental illness that might see this individual hurt coworkers or the boss? Who wants their frailties known to the world? Who wants the everyone to know that they have some terrible contagious disease, like AIDS?
The morality of snooping in your date’s medicine cabinet to see if you can learn about their health condition is not defensible, nor is most snooping in general. However, what if you are dating someone who is putting you in jeopardy by not disclosing a contagious condition? Obviously they are not thinking about your safety and that is a terrible moral lapse, too.
These are serious considerations and only you can decide how you want to handle the matter. You also have to realize you may jump to conclusions that are entirely false. You see a herpes medicine in your date’s medicine cabinet and never realize it belongs to her/his roommate or cousin or someone else. Maybe they are doing clinical research on preventing herpes in the white-rat population. There may be a simple explanation that would still let you kiss without risk.
If you do wish to venture into this detective-like sleuthing, make sure you don’t get caught. It will not bode well for the blossoming relationship. If you do find a trove of pill bottles, jot down the names (or take photos if you are tech oriented – but make sure the shutter sound is off) and then when you are home, Google each medicine to find out what may be going on. Some of the medications that could be of concern include anti-viral medications, drugs for mental illness, chronic illness medications for things like MS, arthritis, skin disorders and cancer. Do your really want to live with someone with HIV, serious mental illness or chronic diarrhea? I guess not!
As morally questionable as it is to snoop in this fashion, do note that we usually do more investigating on the cars, shampoos and stereos that we buy than on finding out about the people with whom we are potentially going to spend the rest of our lives.
Now a bit of advice for all of you with medical infirmities that you do not wish to become known, especially to people you are dating. Keep your medications in a safe place – not in your medicine cabinet.
For more advice on dating than the usual fare, go to my dating blog found at this website: http://whoyoudating.com