A customer got a drink without tipping his bartender last Friday evening, a TMC bartender told reporters. Before walking away, the customer promised the bartender he’d “catch him next time.”
“It really surprised me that the guy didn’t tip,” said Robert Stahl, who has worked for the nightclub for six months. “Everyone knows that’s how a bartender makes his money.” Stahl claims he gave the man a funny look when the incident occurred. According to several witnesses, the man then turned his pockets inside out and explained that he didn’t have any more money. He walked away, promising the bartender to “catch him next time.”
Stahl said the customer still hasn’t fulfilled his promise. “It’s been four days already.” Regardless, Stahl remains hopeful. “I watch the front door like a hawk. Each time it opens, I keep thinking its him showing up with my dollar.”
But according to one of Stahl’s coworkers, that hope is unwarranted, “Guys like this show up at the bar all the time” explained Michael Kleinpeter, a two-year veteran at TMC. “They come in with the last of their paycheck wanting to buy the cheapest thing we have, then they don’t have any money left over to tip. That guy’s not coming back. If he does, he’ll have forgotten about the tip. It happens all the time. Robert needs to get a grip.”
Sofia Gillett, an eyewitness to the incident, shared Kleinpeter’s point of view. “I know that guy,” Gillett said. “He hangs out near my apartment complex sometimes. Earlier that evening, I saw him at the Valero down the street. He told me he was broke and asked if he could borrow $20. Then he proceeded to buy some Lotto tickets and a 40 oz. of Mad Dog 20/20.”
At press time, four days have passed since the incident. With each passing day the likelihood of the customer making good on his promise fades. But the bartender refuses to give up hope.
“That dollar is going to come in handy,” Stahl said on Tuesday while opening the bar for business. “I mean, that’s two packages of ramen noodles.” The front door swung open, and Stahl looked up optimistically. It turned out to be Carl, another TMC regular. Stahl shrugged and finished his statement. “Besides, it’s not really the money. It’s the principle of the whole thing. Anyway, he’ll be back. He promised.
For more info: This article is satire, meant for entertainment purposes only. Robert Stahl bartends daily at TMC, where he is frequently known to be off his meds.
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