The increased usage of mobile dating applications along with the lack of education on how to properly utilize them, has had a negative effect on the perception of dating, and has not resulted in stronger or more meaningful relationships. Dating apps are being over-used, and are viewed more as a game than a tool for finding a relationship. Current research states that in 2014 Tinder users spent an average of 90 minutes a day using the app, but only 18.8% of Tinder users, and only 29% of users on all Dating sites were actually looking for a relationship. Current research also indicates, that too many choices and matches leads to a paradox of choice. Instead of acting on a potential match or developing a relationship with someone, users of dating sites and apps continue to search for the next best thing. It’s a prime example of the fear of missing out.
Suave Lover, a Chicago based dating and relationship consultancy, advises that people can positively improve their perspective on technology-based dating, and form more meaningful relationships by following three simple tips:
Understand the situation. Disappointment occurs if there is a gap between expectation and experience. The main benefit from technology-based dating is quantity, but it really is just a lot of random people. You have no idea what these people are looking for, what their personalities are or if they even look like their profile photos. Accept the situation for what it is and screen more closely (other online photos, mutual friends, phone conversations) and understand that just like dating in the real world, you’re going to meet some people that aren’t what they seem.
Focus on only a few matches. It is important to make sure that your intention for using dating apps is to find potential dates. Matching is a type of validation. When someone thinks you are attractive it feels good. Once you match with a couple people you feel have potential, spend the time exploring if they really do, instead of trying to find the next match. Would you be able to have more than three conversations with different people at the same time? Probably not.
Limit your time online. It can be disappointing to meet someone and have it not work out. Dating apps let you meet a lot more people, and most of them, will not work out. Since using dating apps can be discouraging make sure to limit your time online or take time off if you realize you are feeling negative about the situation.
Mobile dating applications offer the ability to meet people you would have never had the chance to meet in a low-risk setting. Even though it can be difficult to keep a positive perception at times, it offers many advantages over off-line dating. Stay positive and encouraged by keeping the right mindset, focusing your intentions on real potential, and by limiting your time online. Dating applications are supposed to make dating easier and less stressful. Enjoy, and make the most of the opportunity to meet and talk to people that already think you’re attractive from the comfort and safety of, really, anywhere.
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