In an age where we couldn’t possibly be more connected to each other we have also never been more alone.
Pat Benatar said it best: love is a battlefield. And today we’re all warriors just trying to stay alive. Because the rules have changed and will continue to change as we rely more and more on face-to-screen interactions rather than face-to-face.
So, what’s a warrior to do?
1. Swipe right, goddammit
Even if it’s only once in a while, even if it’s forced. Don’t let yourself become too picky because perfection does not exist, the right time will never happen, and you have to live your life now. Give the slightly good-looking but obviously hilarious and fun guy a chance. You could surprise yourself.
2. Go on crappy dates
So you’re not sure if you’re really into the guy you’ve been texting but he asks you out. Go out with him. We are so unbelievably quick to judge others nowadays for the smallest offenses (she likes terrible music, he eats like the world’s about to end, etc) but we are human. We can’t be distilled down to a couple paragraphs in a profile or our banter via text. We are so much more than that. People tend to have distorted views of themselves anyways so most self-reported descriptions aren’t entirely accurate. We are three-dimensional. Go on the damn date.
3. Don’t write people off
We’re all guilty of not giving people the benefit of the doubt. You texted him yesterday and it took him a while to respond, so then you made sure to take a while to respond so you didn’t seem too eager. He may have been busy, he may not have been—you don’t know. But don’t “punish” him because he didn’t respond in an arbitrarily designated “appropriate amount of time.” All it does is make the other person think you’re not interested. What’s the problem with showing you’re interested?! That’s the point of dating, ladies. Shelve the baby games and put your big girl pants on.
4. Learn how to accept a compliment
Men are visual creatures. We’ve known this since the dawn of time (or somewhere around there). Yes, women receive a lot of unsolicited attention but sometimes that guy at Starbucks who says you’re pretty really just thinks you’re pretty. And wanted to tell you. You need to stop being so suspicious and let down your guard a little. You can accept likes and favorites from over 1 billion people via Facebook and Twitter but the minute someone gives you some positive feedback IRL you act like they just handed you a dead hamster. Smile, say thank you, and feel good because you are awesome and you should hear it once in a while.
5. Put forth a little effort
Whether it be taking the time to actually do your hair, initiating the conversation by texting first, or saying you like his shirt, there’s nothing wrong with exercising a little control in your life. There’s definitely beauty and peace of mind on the passenger side but there’s a whole lot more excitement in the driver’s seat. Vroom vroom.
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