Do you know what it means to ‘harass’ someone? According to just about every dictionary available, to ‘harass’ someone means to continuously or repeatedly bother someone, or seek attention from someone, when they have already made it clear that they have no desire to interact with you any further.
So what this means is, if you are a man and you approach a woman, initiate a conversation with her, and you eventually let her know that you are interested in sharing her company in some sort of romantic and/or sexual manner … and that particular woman of interest quickly and straightforwardly conveys to you that she has no interest in sharing your company in any sort of erotically intimate manner … and then you as a man ignore her initial attempt at rejecting you and proceed to become even more persistent with your sexual advances, then you would be guilty of ‘sexual harassment.’
If you as a man take it a step or two further, and you begin touching the woman, groping the woman, and aggressively caressing her body without her permission, you have now escalated from sexual harassment to sexual assault.
Message to all men: when a woman looks you directly in your eyes, and verbally communicates to you that she has no interest in sharing your company in any sort of romantic and/or sexual manner, believe her. 99% chance, she is being sincere in expressing her lack of interest.
If all women in society were to make it clear to all men when they are interested in a guy, and when they are not interested in a guy, a lot of interactions between men and women would unfold in a much more smooth, uncomplicated, cut and dry manner.
Here is the problem: There are a lot of women in society who want to capture a man’s attention … but at the same time, they do not. This columnist refers to these women as ‘Timewasters.’ Other men in society would refer to them as ‘Attention Whores’ or ‘C*ck Teasers.’
Example #1: A woman who frequently posts photos of herself in scantily clad attire, such as lingerie, to motivate men to flatter her, tell her how beautiful she is and how sexy she is, but in reality, she has no interest whatsoever in sharing the company of the men who are posting comments on her Facebook or Twitter page that are representative of the men admiring her body and lusting after her sexual companionship.
Why do this?
Example #2: A woman who frequently walks outside wearing tight, sheer ‘leggings’ that show off her small waist and round buttocks for every man she comes in contact with to view and admire … but if too many of those men begin to ‘catcall’ her or simply express loud, verbal compliments at her body and her attire … all of the sudden these men are guilty of ‘street harassment.’
Why wear such an outfit if you know ahead of time what type of reaction it is going to provoke from men?
These two examples of women’s behavior highlight one of the primary differences between a woman’s mentality and a man’s mentality.
You see, very few if any (heterosexual) men will go out of their way to receive flattering attention from women who they have no desire to be in a romantic relationship with or no desire to engage in short-term non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex with. Men rarely want ‘attention just for the sake of attention.’ A blowjob or a hand job flatters a man’s ego twenty times more than a verbal compliment from a woman.
Women, on the other hand, will wear tight, short mini-skirts during a visit to a local bar or nightclub just for the sake of being flattered by the men present. Many of those women will have no interest in dating or having sex with the men who they come in contact with at that particular bar or nightclub, but the vast majority of the time, those women will be more than willing to accept a man’s offer of free drinks and appetizers.
Women will pose nude in a magazine such as Playboy just to motivate men to masturbate to their provocative and explicit photographs. Do you think that any of the Playboy Centerfold models will actually engage in sexual relations with the men who pleasure themselves while being aroused when staring at their revealing photos? Of course not.
The reality is, most women want flattering attention from as many men who are willing to give their ego and self-esteem a boost … but once many of those men begin to escalate from verbally expressing a flattering compliment to expressing a strong desire to engage in sexual relations with these women within the next 24-48 hours, all of the sudden, many of these women will claim that they are being ‘harassed’ by these men.
If starting tonight, men all over the world were to universally decide to never approach women any longer, never initiate a conversation with them any longer, never flatter them at any point in the future, and never express any sort of romantic or sexual interest in women online or out on the streets, women would lose their minds. Seriously.
One minute, there are blog entries on the internet with headlines such as, “Where have all of the ‘real’ men with bold confidence gone? Men these days expect women to approach them first!” Then, the next minute, men are told to watch a video entitled “10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Woman” that is supposed to highlight the “horrible epidemic” of what one organization (HollaBack) has categorized as ‘street harassment.’
When you carefully examine the video (above, at the top of the article), it would be hard for any man or even an objective-minded woman to categorize the behavior exhibited by the men as true ‘harassment.’
Note: After watching the ‘catcall’ video, please watch this video of Comedian and Entertainer Russell Brand engaging in what most women would refer to as ‘lighthearted flirting.’ Not ‘harassment’ … but ‘flirting.’ (Observation: Brand expresses comments that are way more bold, provocative, and X-rated than anything said by the men in the ‘catcall’ video, but yet no feminist organization is up in arms about Brand’s behavior toward these professional women)
Not once did the actress (Shoshana Roberts) say to these men, “Please leave me alone….” or “Please stop talking to me …” or “You have a zero percent chance of ever having sex with me ….” Ms. Roberts never, ever rejected any of these men (because she is an actress who was more-than-likely paid to ‘ignore’ these men’s comments).
If a woman really wants to be left alone, she needs to verbalize that thought to men if she wants to make her point emphatically clear. If a woman has no interest in socially interacting with a man, she needs to verbalize that to the man who is attempting to converse with her so that there are no miscommunications or misinterpretations. If a woman does not want a man hitting on her for sex, she needs to verbalize that to a man who is attempting to seduce her in order to make her lack of interest crystal clear.
The reality is, the vast majority of women will not verbalize their lack of romantic or sexual interest to men. Why not? Because they want to keep their ‘options’ open in case one or more of these men offer them a free meal, a free movie, an offer of employment, or anything else that the woman perceives as being of tangible and/or intangible value. Because deep-down, many of them love knowing that sexually desperate and horny men crave to have sex with them, but will never gain the opportunity. These manipulative women love knowing that they have the power to leave a man feeling egotistically and sexually frustrated.
Anyone could make the argument that most handsome professional athletes are ‘harassed’ by female groupies every week. Anyone could make the argument that most male strippers with slim, lean, athletically proportioned physiques are ‘harassed’ by horny, sexually aggressive women at their jobs regularly. Anyone could argue that many talented male singers, musicians, and movie stars are ‘harassed’ by screaming, fanatical female fans relentlessly in public.
Women, if you want the ‘no means no’ campaign to have any shred of validity, then you need to actually say, “NO. I am not interested in dating you or having sex with you. Period.” Unless a man is inebriated, psychotic, or emotionally disturbed, he will then leave you alone indefinitely.
Be honest … as a manipulative woman that is not what you want. You do not want to be indefinitely ignored.
Because if you did, you would go an entire week without taking a bath.
Because if you did, you would purchase a ‘fake’ engagement ring and put it on your finger.
Because if you did, you would avoid wearing make-up and you would wear clothing that was plain, ‘homely’ and conservative.
Admit it. You want flattering and lustful attention from most men you encounter … even if you have no interest in actually engaging in sex with those men.
Men call that ‘game-playing’ and ‘c*ck-teasing.’
You call it ‘street harassment.’
Others call videos like the one produced by Rob Bliss “total bullsh**.”
If ‘no means no,’ then say ‘no’ . . . and mean it.
Alan Roger Currie is the author of a number of books, including Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking and Oooooh . . . Say it Again: Mastering the Fine Art of Verbal Seduction and Aural Sex. Currie’s latest eBook, The Possibility of Sex: How Naive and Lustful Men are Manipulated by Women Regularly is also available exclusively on Amazon.com in their Kindle format and will soon be available on Audible.com as an audiobook. You can also download a copy of Currie’s eBook on your iPhone, Android Smartphone, or other Smartphone. Starting with Monday, August 4, 2014, you might be eligible to download a FREE copy of the audiobook version of ‘Mode One’ on Audible.com. CLICK HERE for more details.
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