I suppose it could be that in 75-80 years, at the most, taken out of vast realm and dimension of eternity, we could begin to puncture the superfluous meaning behind the masks we have so proudly and vainly worn throughout our lives. But, then, again, I do not believe that is nearly enough time to dismantle the entrenched ideas we so vehemently hold regarding wonderful charitable selves.
WE think so highly of us, nothing but a dogmatic view that we cling to for dear life and project ever so convincingly is all we know. Yet, we can persuade ourselves of just about anything while we are asleep. The deal for real is to wake up-become acutely aware-of the blazing fact of disconnectedness and disinterest we experience on a daily basis.
It is perfectly alright, to admit to ourselves that we really do not have a frigging clue-never did have-probably never will. Sure, we can read a lot books, attend countless seminars, order tapes, attend church, follow those who seem to know something, but in the end, (that’s right around the middle of our lives), we must clean the horseshit from the stable of our existence. It begins to stink something fierce!
Could it possibly be that we have to work out our own salvation through fear and trembling as the ancient writer, St. Paul, so sufficiently surmised. Fear of God? No. Trembling because we are going to be sent to hell IF we don’t make the grade? Nope. Fear that we will not be able to walk on the streets of gold and play harps? Hell no. that would get so boring in less than 15 minutes. Fear and trembling of realizing there will be no package arriving at the front door that will guarantee our satisfactory passage through and the conquering of mental anxiety, liberated physical movement, financial abundance, overcoming our adjunct selfishness and excellent health while living with ourselves.
Yep. That is it fried up in an iron skillet. We must come to resolvable terms with us. No one else, nothing else; divine or human! Certainly, there will be no conditions and restrictions set by the standards, qualifications, expectations, duties, responsibilities and demands of others. In fact, we simply have to detach from their ideas altogether while in the process of de-assing our own.
As long as we are identified with a certain way of behavior we believe we must exemplify, (because of some customary, idealized, traditional and/or religious rites imposed) we will continue to suffer. I am not going to lie to you; it does hurt to release the illusion of self-intoxication. Moreover when it is tied to a polished image established and maintained by us and others close to us.
Yes. The golden calf of self-grandeur must crumble. The crazy part is: when we think we have or are in the process of doing so, (destroying it) we are so far removed from it. I am talking light years! Our next door neighbor would have a better chance of claiming victory. The moment we look at ourselves to discern that we have really-in all honesty-performed an authentic (maybe, our first) act of authentic generosity or benevolent kindness, we have certainly missed it. All we can do is to keep working at it.