Recently, ABC News-Denver reported the story of a World War II veteran in tears after receiving “a long-lost love letter he wrote to his future-wife when he was at war in Europe 70 years ago.” The letter was recently discovered inside of an old record bought at a thrift store.
Ninety-year old World War II Veteran, Bill Moore’s adorning wife, Bernadean, died in 2010. Mr. Moore was quoted as saying, “But I loved her, and she loved me. That’s all I can tell you. It’s a heartache not being with her all the time.”
Their daughter was quoted as saying that, “Their love sets such a beautiful example of what life can be.”
In our many travels around the world conducting our marriage research, we are often ask this question, “Is successful love and marriage ageless?” The answer is, YES! Here’s why.
We have interviewed successfully marriage couples on all seven continents in 49 countries around the world. We recently traveled to our 7th and final continent, Antarctica, in January of 2013. For more than three decades our research has been our labor of love. We have discovered much about what makes for a successful marriage.
Successful marriages and relationships, like fine wine, do get better with age. There are many reasons why, but following are a few of the most significant and important ones.
Reason #1 Imagine spending 30 or more years with someone! You know everything about them. You know their strengths, their weaknesses, their hot buttons, their failings, their likes and dislikes, and their deepest and darkest secrets.
The longer you are successfully married to someone the more you realize this simple fact—you cannot imagine anyone you would rather spend your time with. The most long-term, happy, and successfully married couples report to us that there is no one they would rather spend time with than their spouse. There should be nothing mysterious about this finding. The longer you are married, the more you get comfortable being with the one you love.
Reason #2 The truth is, there are a lot of people out there in the real world, across continents and cultures, who have been married for more than three decades of life and whose daily rituals include garnering their daily sustenance in the presence of the same person. When you break daily bread with someone for most of a lifetime, there is one undeniable fact—you love that person, you cannot imagine life without them, and you find that sharing meals with them is a necessary and highly important part of your day. Marriage does improve with age. Our research would suggest that there is no denying that.
Reason #3 There is one undeniable truth of life—spending your life with someone you love makes you much more happy than spending it alone. Our research around the world reveals a number of significant facts, but none more important than this—loving someone completely and intimately over the adult life span is one of the greatest gifts of life. Long time successfully married couples around the world report that they cannot imagine life without their spouse. Spending time WITH their spouse is much more rewarding than spending their time alone.
Reason #4 And finally, and perhaps most importantly, the longer successfully married couples are married, the more likely they are to get toxic people out of their lives. The longer you are married they more likely you are to avoid people who make you unhappy and who give you stress. Many of the couples we have interviewed tell us that life is too short to have it poisoned by people who don’t really care for you, who don’t share your likes and dislikes, and who make you unhappy.
The best marriages learn the most important lesson of life – don’t surround yourself with people who don’t love you and who don’t share your value system. Life is, indeed, too short. Spend your time wisely.
You see, there really are important life lessons to be learned as you travel through time with someone you love. Those lessons will sustain your love, they will nourish you love, and they will ensure a love that will last a lifetime. Learn these lessons today. Those who have been successfully married for much of a lifetime understand. We hope you will as well.
Hopefully, your love affair will, like the Moore’s, set an example of what life and love can be.
Successful love and marriage is, indeed, ageless.
*For hundreds of tips to enhance your relationship and marriage get the bestselling and multiple-award winning book Building a Love that Lasts. Available wherever books are sold.
By Dr. Charles and Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz
America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts
*Discover what happily married women know about what makes a man marriage material and learn other revealing truths in How to Marry the Right Guy.