A Montana lawmaker is pushing a yoga pants ban, attempting to outlaw the popular workout pants because they are simply too “indecent” to be worn in public. Montana state Rep. David Moore (R), has rolled out House Bill 365, which in of itself is a pretty racy summary of do’s and don’ts – it’s chock full of fancy pants directives involving “simulated buttocks,” and the shapely exposure of “genitals and nipples.”
Moore, who as far as we know puts his pants on one leg at a time like the rest of us, is attempting to buttress Montana’s indecent exposure laws, which outline that one cannot leave their home in a state of utter undress to check your mailbox, drive to 7-Eleven, or water hanging baskets.
Actually, it appears Moore was rankled when he witnessed a group of nude bicyclists who trekked through Missoula last August in the “Bare as you Dare” bike ride. (They had a legal permit by the way Mr. Moore) So he’s taking the tight pants wearing segment of society to task.
House Bill 365 says, in part, that an offense is committed if a person “exposes any device, costume, or covering that gives the appearance of or simulates the genitals, pubic hair, anus region, or pubic hair region or exposes any device worn as a cover over the nipple or areola of the female breast that simulates and gives the realistic appearance of a nipple or areola while in a public place or visible from a public place without taking reasonable precautions to prevent exposure, and disregards whether a reasonable person would be offended or alarmed by the act.”
Let’s break this legalese gobbledygook down, shall we? Essentially, Moore is proposing that one cannot wear a mesh T-shirt over their nipple pierced protuberances, and if gals think they can put on a body-hugging pair of crotch riding shorty shorts without doing some trimwork down there, then be damned all exposed pubes and the person behind them.
“Yoga pants should be illegal in public anyway,” Moore said. Of course, what would offend a “reasonable” person, as defined by the proposed law revision, differs greatly. We all know that some people should just never, ever wear anything that lacks enough material to cover the head of a cotton swab, but have you been into your local Walmart lately?
Moore drafted the updated language with Walt Hill, a retired professor from Missoula. “I want Montana to be known as a decent state where people can live within the security of laws and protect their children and associates from degrading and indecent practices,” Hill said. “I believe this bill is written preserving that reputation.”
Adds the Daily News: “Rep. Virginia Court, D-Billings, said she is concerned that the provision prohibiting garments showing the outline or appearance of a woman’s nipple unfairly targets women. ‘I think you are kind of being a little prejudiced against women,’ Court said.”
As the bill reads now, a person who is caught three times with their pants down – literally – can be tossed into jail FOR LIFE, and fined up to $10,000. But Moore said he is lowering the punishment to only five years getting sodomized behind bars and a $5,000 fine.
Sound off below: What are your thoughts on this Montana yoga pants ban?