The following recap of “The Last Man On Earth” from last Sunday night on Fox, March 29, details the events of episode 5, titled, “She Drives Me Crazy,” and may contain spoilers. Prior to the episode airing, the only description of the episode was a short sentence that stated, “Phil Miller continues living in Tuscon.” During last week’s episode of “The Last Man On Earth” we found out that Phil, played by Will Forte, and Carol, played by Kristen Schaal, were not the last two people on earth. In fact, Melissa, played by January Jones and Todd, played by Mel Rodriguez are alive and well in Tuscon and their presence is causing Phil a considerable amount of trouble.
The episode starts with Phil admitting his love to Mellisa at the bar and quickly ends up in the bedroom with “She Drives Me Crazy,” playing on the radio. It’s a dream and Phil is actually hearing the music coming from Melissa’s house where she is hooking up with Todd, much to Phil’s disappointment. The dream turns into a nightmare when Phil envisions himself in bed with Melissa and Todd.
Carol comes to visit Phil to complain about his toilet pool and the stench it’s leaving in the community, which has become so bad that she has dryer sheets stuffed up her nose. Carol tells Phil that she no longer goes to the bathroom at her own house, but in various mid-range hotels nearby. They get into an argument, mostly because Phil is cranky about Melissa and Todd’s music and lovemaking that kept him up all night long. Melissa gets confused in the conversation about the song, “All Night Long,” and Todd is annoyed with her as she sings it to him.
Phil goes to visit with Todd in the morning and gets Todd to admit that, the night before, he had sex with Melissa. Phil is a bit broken inside knowing the facts about the situation. He tries to hold in his real emotions but grows more and more discontent with Todd. Melissa shows up and asks Todd to help her with a project. Phil offers to help but Melissa declines his offer. As Todd walks away he tells Phil, “This is my life now.” Phil goes home and collapses into his margarita pool and screams.
The next morning, at breakfast, Phil and Carol are having oatmeal and Carol asks Phil if he’s fixed his toilet pool problem. Phil lies and tells Carol it’s fixed but then confesses he’s lying. As the camera pans back it shows the two at the dinner table with a giant T-Rex skull as the centerpiece. Carol tells Phil that she had a conversation with Melissa and that her and Todd are, “Doing it left and right.” Phil scoffs at the news and tells Carol that he doesn’t want to have this conversation. Carol agrees saying that it’s not “Breakfast conversation.” Once again Melissa and Todd blast “She Drives Me Crazy,” by Fine Young Cannibals and it infuriates Phil. Carol reminds Phil that he’s the President of the United States and he should take care of the problem.
That night Phil, Carol, Melissa and Todd gather for a town meeting. Phil introduces the group to the “Grievance board,” a system to initiate votes on topics that affect their new family friendly community. Phil proposes a “Rigid sexual curfew-slash-noise ordinance.” Melissa thinks Phil is ridiculous and scoffs at his Presidency. Phil’s proposal fails with only his vote in favor. The group turns on Phil when Carol introduces a proposal that Phil should clean out his toilet pool. Phil is outvoted 3-1 and Carol’s final words on the matter are, “Good meeting.” Melissa and Todd get up and leave.
Phil gets into a yellow hazard suit and begins the disgusting process of cleaning out his toilet pool. He is frustrated by the process, throwing around the cleaning supplies and eventually, in a fit of anger, falls into the pool. Melissa comes by and finds Phil curled up in a ball crying next to the pool. Inside Phil’s house, cleaned up, Phil talks with Melissa and she actually apologizes for the loud music. The two talk but can’t seem to find a common space to start a relationship now that Todd is here. Moments after Melissa tells Phil that Todd is here now, Phil plans in his mind to remove Todd from the situation.
Phil goes over to Todd’s house in the morning and asks him if he wants to go for a ride, and Phil drives Todd three hours away from Tuscon. Todd goes on and on about sex with Melissa and it just drives Phil crazy. Phil attempts to leave Todd in the middle of nowhere, getting him to exit the truck to check the back tire, but he just can’t bring himself to do it. Phil drives back and forth on the road, slamming his brakes and screaming, but eventually he picks Todd up on the side of the road where he left him. Phil lies to Todd and tells him that this is the quiet place that he goes to sometimes. Phil and Todd then take in the moment and they head back home. Phil apologizes to Todd on the way back and Todd tells him he doesn’t have anything to be sorry about.
Phil comes back with the determination to clean his toilet pool and he gets down to business and takes care of the matter once and for all. He proudly announces to Carol that he’s cleaned the pool and requests that she remove her dryer sheets from her nose. She refuses and bends away from Phil, but he yanks the sheets out of her nostrils. Eventually Carol takes in a deep breath and, for the first time in a long time, she can breath freely without the stench wafting from Phil’s toilet pool. To solve his bathroom problem, Phil brings a Porta Potti inside and places it in front of his old toilet.