“The LIKE Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over” by Jack Schafer and Marvin Karlins is the modern-day version of Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”
Written by a former FBI Agent who specialized in behavior analysis and spy recruitment, it shares strategies for how to get people to like you, confide in you, and tell you what you want to know.
The book is filled with actual examples of how, when working for the FBI, he got foreign agents to trust him and talk to him, how he taught students to be able to manipulate people, and how to read people. The book is filled with interesting techniques — in fact, the most difficult part of reading the book is trying to remember all the methods and rules.
But the book is fascinating. It’s an important book to read and think about for people who deal with other people. It’s also about what not to do. Schafer gives an example of one time when his need to be right alienated a group of people. It might be that this reviewer has that same issue. Because of our need to be right, “we unintentionally alienate our bosses, colleagues, friends, and spouses and cause unnecessary strife and tension.” The advice he gives:
“Instead of asserting your right to be right, ask people for their advice. That allows them to be part of the decision-making process. Additionally, they feel good about themselves because you came to them to seek their advice, which elevates them to an honored position. The Golden Rule of Friendship states that if you make people feel good about themselves, they will like you.”
The book includes “the ‘Big 3’ Friend Signals,” which are how to nonverbally get someone to know that you would be a good friend, the “Friendship Formula” about how four basic factors can help a relationship succeed or fail, and more. Most people would benefit from reading the book even if they only choose one or two of the points to use. It’s a book that this reviewer will be keeping and reviewing from time to time to use more and more of the advice.
Please note: This review is based on the final paperback book provided by Touchstone for review purposes.
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