It’s Super Bowl Sunday. The time when 160 million+ people stop their lives to watch way over-paid men play with a ball. Also a time when companies spend billions on advertising. Yes, billions. And viewers actually look forward to watching them and then rehashing them for the next several days on facebook. Now if all this mind-numbing info isn’t enough, the Super Bowl also has an impact on relationships. Whether these impacts are positive, negative or neutral is up to you to decide.
- Stranger relationships You decide to watch the Super Bowl at a bar. You witness a play that you think is absolutely awesome. You shout whoop whoop and jump up and down. Then you realize that the bar has become awfully quiet. You are on the receiving end of death stares and a not-so-polite invitation to get out. Did you enjoy the game?
- Neighbor relationships If you and your neighbors are both whooping it up having a Super Bowl party, there probably isn’t any impact. Unless you develop some new bonding and decide to merge your parties. Then you have a new friendship. However; if one of you is having a party and the other isn’t, there could be name calling, some threats and perhaps the invitation of police. Police are quite adept at ruining parties.
- Familial relationships This one will be brief because there are just too many mind-blowing dynamics. But imagine you are watching the big game with extended family and you learn that Uncle Ned loves tight ends and Aunt Mildred chews snuff. These new pieces of family information might distract you from truly enjoying the game.
- Friend relationships If you and your buddies are both cheering for the same team, you probably enjoy high fives, shouting and hollering and butt slapping. These tribalistic behaviors will strengthen your bond of friendship. A shared value system is an integral part of being friends. But if your friend decides to root for the opposite team you immediately feel mistrust. What kind of friend would do that? So as the game progresses, there will be dirty looks, probably name calling, and depending on alcohol amounts, maybe even some physical fighting. Again, like your neighbors, police officers will probably soon be your guests.
- Love/romantic relationships If you and your partner are both into the Super Bowl, that’s cool. Just make sure to touch her once in awhile and maybe toss a cheese ball in his mouth, so you both know the other still exists. Now on the other hand if one of you is into it and the other isn’t…oh oh. You may spend the next couple weeks maxing out your credit card on flowers, candy and cleaning supplies just to get a semblance of peace in your relationship. No partner likes to be ignored; especially when the reason is grown men playing with a ball. Also in the love/romantic category, your partner may be like Uncle Ned and enjoying the tight butt eye candy just a bit too much. Again, this could lead to dirty looks, angry words and you guessed it…possibly police. Depending on which side of all these you are landing on, you could have a lot of cops at your party.
- Brothel relationships There is a legal house of prostitution in Nevada called The Chicken Ranch. They report that Super Bowl Sunday is their slowest business day of the year. Yes, even slower than Christmas, Valentine’s Day or Mother’s Day. Apparently watching grown men play with a ball is the only thing that overpowers sex drive. They do report a slight pick-up during the few hours after the game when men are in need of either celebratory or sympathy sex.
So, if you are one of the many millions who will be watching the game, be mindful of your relationships. And if you are one of the few who won’t be watching grown men play with a ball…good for you! When you wake up tomorrow your relationships will still be intact and you won’t have any citations to appear in court.