It is common, in today’s society, to blame parents for everything. Anything negative in a person’s life is usually said to be because of his or her upbringing, or a parent’s influence. This may be true to a certain extent; but untrue otherwise.
Parents do the best that they can in regard to raising children. Their lives are not always what a child sees or imagines. Parents have their own issues and battles to deal with, goals and dreams to strive for, along with the responsibilities of home, work, and family to meet.
Instead of blaming a parent for a negative characteristic or lifestyle, it is up to the individual child (at whatever age) to make the necessary changes on his or her own. This requires taking responsibility for one’s own behaviors and actions. This is not always an easy task, but an important one. By realizing that change is possible, it can be accomplished without any input of others. Once this is recognized, it is easier to see parents in a different light.
Although parents may not have provided everything a child would have hoped for, they did what they could. Surely, there are some positives to be found in every parent. Take a moment to ponder what was learned from a parent, or from each parent. Any traits, skills, or ways of life that ring true today? What about a sense of humor, the value of religion, a good work ethic, a love of sports, the importance of a good education? Parents have a way of having an effect on a child through their words and actions. Were any useful skills passed on to the younger generation? Sometimes, it may take a little bit of soul-searching to find what is being sought, but it has to be there. Seek out the positives. It is worth the time and effort.
Ephesians 6: 1-3 says, “Children, obey your parents (in the Lord), for this is right. Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise, that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life on earth,” (The New American Bible, 1991, Wichita, KS: Devore & Sons, Inc,). This means to depress the negatives and find the positives. Be grateful for the gift of life that was given through parents. Be respectful for the time and effort put into raising their children. Love has to be in there, too.
Dare to be different! Go against the norms of today’s society. Find some reasons to be appreciative of parents and all of the good to be found in them. Rather than focusing on the things that were wrong, take time to seek out the good.