Parent is one of the most rewarding — and challenging — things in life. Unfortunately, there’s no user manual to help people become the parents they really want to be. Kelly Burch, a mother and energy healing practitioner, knows first hand how parents feel and she’s written a new book, “Parenting with Heart & Soul: A Parent’s Guide to Emotional Freedom with EFT,” to help people parent with purpose.
In an exclusive interview with zoomdune.com, Burch answers questions about her new book.
Q: Why did you write this book?
A: I couldn’t find any parenting books that acknowledged that there was underlying stress or difficulty behind the misbehavior of children. When it comes to children refusing to do things or not doing what is expected, it seems as though typical approaches rely upon force or threats. I saw situations like this wherever I looked. For example, children who were scared of going in the water at the pool were getting in trouble or missing out on a treat because they had “been naughty.” I thought of how I felt when I was truly scared of something and wanted someone to try to understand where I was coming from and to support me. As an energy technique practitioner and trainer, I also saw that childhood experiences often lead to life-long hurts. I wanted to do something to help parents see their children in a new way. Instead of seeing “bad” children who need to be molded or trained, parents can see their children as people who are having a hard time and who need their parent’s help.
Q: What is your message to parents?
A: My main message is that stress makes everyone behave badly! It turns a loving mother into an angry one, and it makes a beautifully caring child resist or rebel against their parents. It’s important for parents to realize that when children behave badly, it often is a sign that they are having a really rough time. When parents respond by punishing, isolating or threatening their children, they aren’t tending to their children’s stress and may make their own stress worse. When parents address stress first, they’ll find that they can reduce the severity of what’s going on and might even resolve it. I encourage parents to stay calm and see beyond a single incident. Then they can explore what’s going on with their children and be supportive to that without trying to change their children.
Q: What is Energy EFT?
A: It is a very simple and effective energy technique that involves gentle tapping on meridian points that correlate to channels of energy in the body. This process improves energy flow, which helps people relax and helps improve perspective and mood. We are told to think positive but thought is only part of the equation. Our energy and how we feel contribute to our thoughts. When we improve our energy flow, we naturally feel and think more positively. Energy EFT is ideal for parents and their children. It can be done anywhere and doesn’t require any special equipment or beliefs. There are a lot of things that naturally come when energy flow is higher. Parents who use this technique can expect to feel calmer and more relaxed. They might sleep better, have a more positive outlook, and be more hopeful.
Q: You say that it’s important for parents to tend to their own needs. How EFT can help them do this?
A: When parents have their metaphorical cups full, they are more resilient to whatever challenges their children are going through. So they are able to be more present and be less like to fly off the handle, make decisions out of fear or respond irrationally. EFT is a technique that also allows parents to see situations more truthfully rather than seeing reflections of their own inner patterning. For example, children are very good at mirroring the patterns and difficulties of their parents. If parents use Energy EFT and give attention to their own difficult emotions relating to situations that their child are in, they can see those situation in new ways instead of from their own past experiences. And that can change how parents respond and what they do. I also think that no matter what happens in children’s lives, parents who support themselves with Energy EFT feel more emotional resilient, strong and calm.
Q: What kind of changes have you seen in people who have used your suggestions?
A: People become more like themselves. That means they become more confident, more content, more comfortable in their own skin, more assertive in how they face the world and more empowered in their decisions and actions. I love transformations and trust that energy techniques are designed to help people let go of things that are not the truth of who they are.
Q: What do you say to parents who are busy and think they don’t have enough time to learn about and use a different approach?
Using EFT will save you time! When parents are respectful, attentive and relaxed with their kids, they spent less time arguing and more time getting to know each other. It is also a great way to unwind and relax before bed or even start the day with a more positive outlook. I can’t think of a situation which would not benefit from having Energy EFT on board!