Anyone who has been a parent beyond a few years comes to realize it is difficult to change the pattern of their lives and adjust to new situations as easily as they did when they were younger. Nonetheless, it is important that a parent attempt to adjust to patterns that benefit her/his child or children once the responsibilities of parenthood is attained. This means many sacrifices of personal interests and pleasures, not only for the mother but for the father as well. No longer may a parent to have the carefree periods of their pre-marital years or the early years of their marriage whatever these activities were—many trips, socializing with other couples, parties, volunteerism and so forth. Another way to put it, now that one has become a parent, one should act as a parent.
To be a good parent usually means definite changes in attitudes and behaviors. In most instances, a young man and a young woman usually have spent a number of years learning from a parent or parents to put away childish attitudes and behaviors while developing more mature interests. Those with mature attitudes, once a pregnancy is realizes, man or woman, are faced with what to do. It is without question that future parents revert back to their childhood to remember how they felt and acted. Good or bad every parent’s own childhood plays, often times, an enormous role in how he/she will parent.
Some young men and women had very difficult, abusive childhoods. While these difficulties are recognized by society, it is up to young men and young women to seek the help necessary to be a good and appropriate parent. No child should spend their childhood being abused by a parent. Parents must try to see life through their child’s eyes, just as they did when they were children. Generally, this is not especially easy for many men and women, and they often fall short in this respect.
And yet without this capacity, how many parents recognize, learn and give their child or children the understanding, help and childhood they require to become mature, thoughtful citizens and adults? How can a parent/parents be tolerant of their child’s childishness and mistakes and be friendly towards their child? This does not mean returning to their childhood; but it, however, means developing the dual personality pattern of a child and an adult. Every child, as they grow, expects her/his parents to act like “dad”/”mom”. A parent cannot come down to their child’s level and remain there. A parent must be able to change as their child proceeds through their stages of development towards their own adulthood and, in most instances, their own parenthoods.